New Baby!

Well, we came home with our new son on Wednesday, all 10lb 13oz of him! I couldn't believe how big he was. The doctors told us that he was measuring big, but they told us our first son was going to be a 10lb baby and he ended up to be 8lb 13oz, so we thought the second would be on par with the first. Boy were we wrong! I am SO glad that they decided to induce labor early, I can't imagine how big he would have been if I went to term.

We went in for my induction on Monday morning at 7am, leaving our first son home with Grandma. I had been having contractions anyway, so it didn't take much Pitocin to get things going. But, just like the first time, things accelerated for about an hour and then just stayed that way for several more hours...no dilation, no water breaking, just painful contractions. Uugh. But, the doctor kept promising that this wouldn't be a 22-hour experience like the first one! So, they kept upping the dose of Pitocin, they broke my water (this is rather nasty by the way, and I truly feel for any woman who has this happen in public), and then I got the lovely, happy epidural and napped for a couple of hours. The stubborn kid did NOT want to come out. The doctor said his hand was actually up above his head, as though he was trying to push himself back in! Then around 5:15 they said that I could start pushing, and with me pushing like crazy and the doctor pulling and twisting like crazy, we managed to get the big boy out at 5:47pm.

Of course I'm biased, but I think he's absolutely gorgeous. He's big, healthy, and squeaky - the squeaking gives much delight to his big brother, who is going to have a heck of a time maintaining that title with a little brother that was born a full two pounds heavier than he was! But, big brother is taking things in stride and alternates between delight and jealousy with the arrival of his little sibling. I wouldn't expect any less, and I'm sure they'll be fast friends in a year or 20. In the meantime, we're going to have our hands full with these guys, and we'll do our best to enjoy every minute of it (forgetting these sleepless nights, of course).

Any day now!

It has been a while since I've blogged, pesky job...interfering with my free time to play on the internet. I mean, where in the world have my priorities been?

Anyway, I'm due to have my baby on Wednesday of next week, but I've been feeling like the birth is imminent since Monday. Or maybe it's wishful thinking, but I'm so uncomfortable now, that I don't care what the reason is, as long as it's true! I went in to see my doctor yesterday, and she said that the baby is so big that they're going to induce me. They're going to try to squeeze me in this afternoon if possible, but I'm officially scheduled for bright and early Monday morning if nothing happens over the weekend. I'm SO ready to be rid of this discomfort, but i'm still not sure that I'm ready for the lack of sleep, the feeling of a human cow (milk machine), or the added stress of trying to make sure our toddler knows that we still love him as much as we ever did! It's going to be an interesting time.

So, whatever happens in the next few days, I'm sure it's going to be eventful. And, aside from the obvious wish of having a healthy baby, my only hope is that I get to the hospital in time to have an epidural ;-)

Where have you been all my life?

Have I mentioned yet that I love my new car? It's fun to drive, pretty peppy for it's size, and comfortable to ride in. My son enjoys the space in the back seat (or at least I enjoy that he's not kicking the passenger seat constantly during our car fides), my husband can drive and change the seat position and all I have to do is push a little button and the seat goes back to the way I like it, and I have great music at my fingertips with a 6-CD changer in the dash. All of these things are good. Really good. But what is even better is the NAVIGATION SYSTEM.

Where has this thing been all my life? My husband can attest to how badly I needed this. Prior to getting this car, I was a mapquest junkie. I would mapquest EVERYTHING, print out the directions, and then end up with a tree equivalent in my backseat since I never threw away what I had printed. Have I mentioned how dangerous reading while driving is? More than that, what happens when you make a wrong turn? Your paper instructions just can't adapt. The nav system I got (and use almost daily) updates when I take wrong turns! Woo-hoo! I've found new routes to work, lakes I didn't know existed, and shortcuts in my town that I also didn't know existed.

The other really cool thing about this nav system is that it can find things for you. Here's an example...I just started this new job in a town that is about 30 miles away and that I'm not really familiar with. I needed to go to a post office the other day and I had NO IDEA where to go. So, I get into my trusty new car, turn on the nav system, and have it look up the nearest post office for me. Just push the little point of interest button, push post office, and voila! directions to the post office. It was under a mile away, but I would have never found it without the nav system (without asking a local) because it was tucked away on a back street. What a wonder. Today I found an ATM the same way. I don't think I can go back to a car without a navigation system ever again!

What fun!

War of the Worlds

We watched War of the Worlds last night, and although nagged by the feeling that we could have gotten a little more out of it if we had seen it on the big screen (or at least on the big plasma screen TV that we don't own), I have to say that it was a very disappointing movie. You're all going to see my geeky side come out here... It was full of inconsistencies and the feeling of "been there, done that". One inconsistency, occurred at the very beginning, was that the aliens who were attacking earth emitted an electromagnetic pulse that stopped everything electronic from working. Yet, five minutes later, there is some interesting cinematography through the lens of a digital camcorder. I have to admit that the cinematography was a cool touch, but c'mon, be a little consistent Steve. Cars aren't working, watches aren't working, how in the world is this dude's camcorder working?

There was also the usual back-story: deadbeat dad alienated from his kids, mom has a new near-perfect life, kids are a little bizarre from their parents splitting, resentment abounds, dad redeems himself in the eyes of the bitter children, everyone lives happily ever after (or at least the people who weren't dessimated by the aliens. There was a pathetic attempt at trying to make the son appear a hero and inspire his dad, but I didn't buy it. I could go on and on about this movie, but the last thing that was really irksome was that the wife's family somehow survived completely unscathed. Their house was intact, they were all clean and well-dressed, and even though the rest of Boston was destroyed, they made it through...no worries.

I'm usually a fan of Steven Spielberg, and I think that War of the Worlds had a lot of potential, but someone dropped the ball on this one (tempted to blame Tom Cruise here, but I really don't think he's the one responsible for this fumble)! Oh, but one more thing...I think that bacteria being the downfall of aliens was a pretty cool touch. That's just the immunologist in me...

Number Games

There are some strange number associations in my family, the significance of which I am unable to ascertain (I'm open to suggestions if anyone is into numerology). There are six people in my immediate family, three of us have a birthday on the 21st of a month, two of us have a birthday on the 5th of a month, and the last has a birthday on the 16th of a month (this is 21 minus 5 if the obviousness escapes you). When my son was born, I went into labor very early (5:30) in the morning on the 20th of a month, and my father predicted that my son would hold out being born until the 21st of the month. Wouldn't you know it, he was born around 3am on the 21st. Creepy!

This baby was originally due on the 24th of August, but my due date has since been revised to the 19th of the month. So, anyone placing bets on whether I go overdue so that this baby can be born on the 21st of the month? I sincerely doubt it, but I do have to add that today is the 21st of a month, and I have been suffering from very significant baby-related pains (no, I'm not in labor). Now, I don't want to curse myself since the day is not quite over, but I have to say that more than once today I considered that these pains were leading up to an event that I wasn't sure I was prepared for (early labor), simply due to the significance of the number. Thankfully, I drank a ton of water this evening and have kept my feet up on the couch, and so far it seems like the pains are simply just baby growing pains and nothing else. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

So, here's hoping that this 21st of the month comes and goes baby-free... We'll have to see what the 21st (or 5th or 16th) of the next month brings!

New Car!

I finally did it! We had to go all the way to Quincy to do it, but I got a car yesterday! I don't think I was robbed too badly, but it certainly wasn't for lack of trying on the part of the dealership. Here's what happened...

I called my neighborhood Ford dealer last week and told him that I wanted to buy a 2006 Ford Freestyle, and what options I wanted. He said that he'd see what he could find for me, but didn't have anything in stock that matched what I wanted. He called me back later and said that he could only find one that was at another dealership, but it had MORE than what I wanted and that he wouldn't be able to get me as good of a deal on it as he could if I bought one that they had in stock already. Since I didn't want to pay for options that I didn't necessarily want, and I wanted the freedom to negotiate, I told him that I'd try to figure out something else. So, with the beauty of the internet, I went online and searched the inventory of all the Ford dealers in a 60-mile radius of our house, which is how we ended up going to Quincy.

At first, it was a relatively easy transaction. I asked for a quote online, and was responded to right away. He listed a very good price and so we decided to bring my car in for an appraisal. He said that if I brought my title, we could probably get the transaction done and bring the car home the same day to save us the trouble of having to get back to Quincy during the next week. So, yesterday morning, the family jumped into the car and headed on the trek to Quincy. When we got there, the dealer pulled around the car I was interested in so that my husband could see it (up to that point, he had pretty much been out of the loop!), and they took my registration to check out my Volvo. Here's where it gets pretty shady...they come back to me and say that my trade-in is worth $5600. This is $3800 less than what Edmunds said my car should be worth for trade-in (I'm glad I looked it up before I left!). I got REALLY mad and told him NO WAY, I know that I should get much more for my trade! He then comes back with this book that has trade-in prices listed (it wasn't Kelly's Blue Book, I have no idea what it was) and he opens it to this page that lists the Volvo S40, and he says, "see? this is our guide for trade-ins, and it says your car is worth $5600". I look in the stupid book, and while he's right, that's what it said, that was the price for the stripped-down basic model. I had the "loaded SE turbo" which conveniently wasn't listed in the book. This made me even angrier because I think he was trying to take advantage of the big, fat, poor pregnant woman. So I told him to go online, look up the costs of all of the options that I had on my car, and come back with a price that better. He said that he couldn't do that, but then he said, "we really want to make this happen for you today, but there's no way we'll be able to give you that price for your trade in. Give me a number we can work with". So, I said $8000 and he did the usual "I have to talk to my manager" and came back with $7000. I said, "thanks, but no thanks, I can do a lot better elsewhere" (my sister and her husband would be so proud) and we started to walk out. He came running back and said how about if we do $7500 and zero percent financing? I was tempted to just say no, but I also wanted it to be over, so we took the price and the financing, and voila! new car (and we got to take it home yesterday). I think we did pretty well. We got the car at just under invoice rather than list price, and then a relatively fair price on the trade-in. My husband said that if we had completely left, we probably could have gotten them up to a better trade-in price, but it wasn't worth the long trip back and forth.

Ultimately, I am pleased with the transaction. It wasn't pain-free, but I don't feel like I got taken to the cleaners. It made me realize how much I got ripped off when I bought my Jeep back in 1998. I had no idea that you could even try to get a car for less than sticker price, that they generally try to rip you off on the value of your trade in, and that you could cleverly finance so as not to spend twice as much money on a car than it's worth. I ended up getting a $18,000 (sticker price) car for about $25,000 when all was said and done. YIKES.

Drumroll please...here is my new car!
>

A Quality State Trooper

In general, I don't really have anything bad to say about Massachusetts State Troopers. I think that they have a really thankless job, and they do their best to protect MA citizens and uphold our laws. You really couldn't pay me enough to do what they do for a living, and I respect the danger that they put themselves in every day for our benefit. This being said, I am not sure that all of them are the most savvy of individuals. Indeed, I saw a State Trooper today do something so moronic that I am preferring to believe was just having an off day...I was shocked to see what he did.

I was driving home from work this evening, on a three-lane highway (I guess technically it's a 6-lane highway, three lanes on each side) that has a 65 MPH speed limit. There was a trooper standing in the right breakdown lane of the highway, shooting his radar gun at oncoming traffic. This in itself is not shocking, although I think his safety may have been better served shooting the radar gun from within his vehicle. Nevertheless, that was what he was doing. What shocked me was that he targeted someone in the far-left lane (who I agree should have been pulled over, the guy was FLYING). Then the genius trooper stepped into oncoming traffic in the far right lane to get the attention of the driver in car he was trying to pull over. It wasn't just that he took one step into the lane, he walked halfway across it... The cars in both the middle lane and the right lane slammed on their brakes, because they weren't sure if he was going to stop, continue, or run back onto the shoulder! He nearly caused a multi-car accident, not to mention nearly losing his own life.

The trooper did get his man (and he had three other cars pulled over at the same time), but I think that the danger in which he put himself and the other drivers who were respecting the speed limit, was not worth the revenue that will come out of four measley little moving violations.

The F Bomb

I have really been trying to be a good mom. I try not to lose my temper too often, to understand where my son is coming from when he's throwing a tantrum and to play at least as much as I discipline. The inconsistencies that we have to deal with as parents are astounding... For example, we're trying to teach my son to share with others. For the most part, he's very good at it - as good as a 19-month-old can be. The problem is, that he's learned the word share, and therefore expects us to share with him as well. Food, no problem. Coffee, beer, wine...problem. So, we tell him that there are certain things that are only mommy and daddy things, things that little boys can't have. I'm sure he wants to know why there aren't certain things that are only his things, but he hasn't learned the words to vocalize this yet. Nevertheless, I can see it in his eyes. This is among the things we struggle with as parents.

Our son is also developing quite a vocabulary very rapidly. He is really a little ocular sponge, and often surprises us with the things he comes up with. This leads to the obvious conclusion that we really have to watch what we say! We really don't have potty-mouths, but even some topics of conversation are probably not appropriate, and we've been making a concerted effort to self-edit.

This brings us to this morning. I am very under the weather today, some kind of stomach bug that is also some form of temporary narcolepsy (not really, I'm just REALLY tired and can fall asleep at the drop of a hat...most likely a combination of the pregnancy and the illness). Bottom line...I was not in top form. Our son and I were playing on the floor with his building blocks, and I got tired and so laid my head down on the floor when *WHAM* he hits me in the head with a big wooden dog. Yowsa did it hurt - and before I could even think about it, I dropped the big F-bomb! I was horrified but also speechless with pain and tears in my eyes. I am not sure that my son even registered what I said, he was so startled by my reaction to what happened. He and his dad went and got me the boo-boo kitty out of the freezer, and I had a nasty headache. Our son said that he was sorry and kept checking too see that I was ok (but he was also crying because he couldn't have the boo-boo kitty too). He and his daddy went outside to play, and I'm pretty sure that he rapidly forgot about it as soon as he got on his bike. I think that I am much more traumatized.

What comes from all this? Probably not much, but next week when our son surprises his teachers at day care with the F-bomb, we all know who to hold responsible!

My Apologies...

I very clearly owe an apology to Dr. Gilbert, the author of a Time Magazine article on Father's Day that I took great offense to. A link to my original post is here. Today I received a comment from Dr. Gilbert that informed me that he DOES indeed have a son (and a grandchild). His comment was as follows:

why is it that you can't just disagree with an argument and say why. but must instead add a lot of personal insults to your otherwise interesting counter-argument?I'm not a sick, bitter person. I just have a different view on some matters. Name calling makes you look foolish instead of thoughtful.

And oh, my son and granddaughter were very surprised to find out that I have no children.

To my credit, I did make a sincere (but obviously not thorough enough) effort to find out if he had children before I made my comments. Unfortunately, the only biography that I could find on him only stated that he lived with his wife in Cambridge (which makes sense since his child is grown). Therefore, with hat in hand, I apologize to Dr. Gilbert for my misstatement about his inability to make an accurate assesment of fatherhood due to his lack of experience in the matter.

I still stand by most of my other comments, and ironically, the knowledge that Dr. Gilbert has a son makes the article even more heartbreaking to me. I wonder how his son felt after reading that he was more of a burden than blessing in his father's life?

My 15 Minutes of Not-So-Much Fame

There's a radio station in the Boston area called Mike FM, that is relatively new here. It's one of those open format, no DJ's, "we play anything" kind of stations; I really like it. Anyway, they have this gimmick where you can go on the internet and request your two favorite songs. If they can play them, they'll call you up and record you introducing them. It's called "Mike on Demand".

Well, apparently they don't play "anything" because they didn't have the two songs I requested. But, as a little consolation prize, they called me tonight and asked me if I wanted to record a promo for them to play tomorrow. They're going on the air commercial-free for the 4th of July, and they wanted people to make a big deal out of it. So I made something up that they recorded over the phone (and they're going to splice the heck out of it because I made a bunch of mistakes). It's going to play sometime during the 11am hour tomorrow!

So, if you're in the Boston area, tune in and listen for my loverly voice on the air! If you're not in the area, I am pretty sure it's streaming online. It's only going to be a few seconds so probably not worth going out of your way to listen (especially since they couldn't say when in the hour it was going to play), but it's fun for me nonetheless!

Evolution of Dance

My dad sent me a link to this web page last week, and I thought it was hysterical. It's a little long, but worth taking a look at.

I think he's missing the most recent dance style - it's called Krumping, and it looks to me like the people are having seizures or are just about to begin fighting or something. Not really up my alley, but definitely worth a parody! It probably just means that I'm getting old. Of course, in this description they liken krumping to mosh pits. I spent a bit of time in mosh pits in my day, and I'm not sure it's the same thing, but I understand the concept - kind of a form on non-violent self-expression - although I came home a little bruised from mosh pits from time to time!

The First Day of Work

Well, I survived the first day of work, it was mostly uneventful...filling out paperwork in the morning, meeting dozens of people whose names I'd forgotten as soon as they were spoken, and reading a lot of old experimental data. Of the two senior scientists who were less than thrilled with my interviewing for a position with their group, one was quite kind and took me under her wing, the other did not say two words to me all day and seems to have a chip on his shoulder. I'll win him over eventually...he just needs to figure out that I'm really not a threat to him.

The good thing that happened today? I was already able to contribute significantly in a group meeting...

The bad thing that happened today? I was asked by at least five people if I was an RA (this is a great insult to someone who was previously a Senior Scientist and interviewed at the company for an Assistant Director position). My response was to smile and say "no, I'm a contract worker, so I don't have a title". Grin and bear it, right?

"What are we going to do tomorrow, Brain"

"The same thing we do every day Pinky, try to take over the world"

Getting Closer to the New Car

After a rediculous amount of time spent on the internet, I think that I've narrowed down my car search to two candidates...the Ford Freestyle and the Chrysler Pacifica. So, I went to my local car dealers yesterday for some test drives. Aside from the pure joy of seeing the look on the salesmen's faces when not only did a very pregnant woman walk into their showroom, but a pregnant woman without a man in tow, I enjoyed the shock they involuntarily revealed after I told them exactly what I was looking for after my extensive web research. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to get now, but let me tell you about my experience first...

I first went to the Ford dealership around the corner from my house. The salesperson was a very nice and knowledgable man. He treated me with a great deal of respect, not only detailing to me the fluffy "girly stuff" about the car, but also taking the time to describe the more technical aspects of the vehicle without making me feel like he thought I was a auto-moron. We took a long test drive (he let me choose the route) and I got to experience a lot of different circumstances that might occur with day-to-day driving. I told him about the other cars I was considering while we were driving around, and rather than poo-pooing them, he told me what he thought was good and bad about each of the other vehicles. When we returned to the dealership, he gave me comparison worksheets showing similarities and differences between the Freestyle and the other cars that I was looking at. There was no pressure, no sales pitch, no nonsense. Just his business card and the message that if I wanted to take another test drive, even test the car on my route to Worcester before I make the commitment to buy it, he'd be happy to oblige.

Next I went to the Chrysler dealership. This was a polar opposite experience. I was greeted at the door by a very slimy, balding, overweight, yucky salesperson. I told him what kind of car I wanted to test drive (i.e. the options I'm interested in), and he pulled over a car that "was the first I could find", rather than what I asked for. It was a very stripped-down basic model, not what I wanted at all. Then, he made me go get gas for it on the way to the test drive (he was in the car)! He didn't tell me any of the features of the car, he didn't tell me what makes it better than the other cars I was looking at, he didn't speak much at all aside from when I asked him very direct questions. He made me take a specified route that didn't allow me to test different conditions (i.e. highway vs. town), that lasted about 5 minutes. He also refused to put on his seatbelt because it was too hot. I don't care if he wants to kill himself, but the car has an alarm that tells you when someone is in the passenger seat without their seatbelt on, and he didn't know how to turn it off. So, we drove the whole test-drive with the stupid car beeping at me! When I finally asked him what makes the Pacifica different than the Freestyle, not only could he not answer with specifics, all he said was that the Ford is a piece of junk and that the Chrysler sells better. HUH?

Ok, so aside from the differences in the dealership experiences, what about the cars? I think I am able to separate the salesmen from their cars and keep an open mind on the pluses and minuses of each, and regardless, I came away liking the Freestyle better. Here's why:

• The Ford has a Continuously Variable Transmission (CVT) and the Chrysler does not. After driving a car with a CVT, the 4-speed automatic transmission of the Pacifica felt jerky. The CVT also improves on fuel efficiency
• The Ford's seats fold absolutely FLAT, and the center console of the second row of seats opens both frontwards and backwards, so that it also becomes flat if the seats are down. You can even fold the front passenger seat flat, so that there is almost 10 feet of flat cargo space if needed. The Pacifica seats don't fold flat, so you have a bump in the cargo compartment.
• Both cars have large disc brake rotors including ABS, but the Ford braked better, perhaps because it weighs a bit less than the Chrysler
• The Freestyle has more headroom, legroom, and cargo space
• There is poor visibility out the side and back windows of the Pacifica, I felt a little unsafe at intersections because it was difficult to see
• The true cost to own difference between the Freestyle and Pacifica is six cents per mile. That adds up...

So, I think I've decided on the Freestyle...what's the caveat? The slimy dealer at the Chrysler shop offered me $7100 off the sticker price of the Pacifica, including whatever they can give me for my trade-in (most likely the Jeep). This means that I could get a $36,000 car for about $25,000 (including the money from my trade-in). That's not bad. I could consider overlooking the other stuff for that price. I guess now is the time to call up the Ford dealer and see if he's willing to wheel and deal. This is the part I'm not good at. I need one of my sisters here - she and her husband are incredible bargain shoppers and HAGGLERS. They LOVE haggling...I HATE it.

Once I screw up my courage, I'm gonna give the Ford dealer a call...Umm...maybe tomorrow...

Ikea

I have a new favorite store - it's Ikea! I have actually been in these stores before, but I never really appreciated what they had to offer until last week. I have been looking for a dresser for my son's room for a while. I didn't want to spend a lot of money for it, but I didn't want a really cheap fiberboard piece of furniture either. After several online searches and trips to local furniture stores (bargain and otherwise), I realized that I wasn't going to find anything that fit my expectations for under $200. That is, until I went to Ikea last week.

My son and I went shopping, which is usually a recipe for disaster, because kids and furniture shopping don't mix very well. A 19-month old doesn't really have the patience for walking around and looking at boring furniture. The great thing about Ikea is that they encourage touching of their furniture, and each room that we went into had some sort of child-friendly activity or attraction. Especially in the children's furniture department, they had a whole room with things that the kids could play with. So, I had the opportunity to take my time and look at the dressers that they had available and pick out something that was pretty good quality and yet still affordable. BONUS!

Here's what I got, and I spent just over $100. It's perfect for our son's new bedroom, and it didn't break the bank!

The dresser:

The hamper:


The bonus kids table:

I also got a set of dividers for the top drawer of the dresser, and a set of plastic kid's cups for our son to graduate from his sippy cups with.

Grand total? $100.22 Woo-hoo!

As an aside, because I saved so much on the dresser, I splurged and bought some novelty drawer pulls to exchange for the ones that came standard. They're from a website called www.coolknobsandpulls.com.

Better Late Than Never

Well, here I am with 54 days to go until my due date (but since I only went to 39 weeks with my first son it's most likely 47 days...that's just under seven weeks for those of you who are as mathmatically impaired as I am), and I have a job! Ok, so it's not a REAL job with benefits and all the bells and whistles, but it is an income that is greater than my unemployment income. Beginning Monday, I am a consultant for the company I had the exploratory interview with in June. They hired me for eight weeks, to see if I could do more in these eight weeks than their current scientists have done in the past eight months. NO PRESSURE! Actually, I don't know that the last statement is true, I just know that they've been working for a while on developing the same assays that I'll be working on, and that they haven't made any significant progress. Thankfully, I have extensive experience with all three types of assays that they're trying to develop, so I can hit the ground running.

Here is my hope... I hope that I can get these assays going in my six-plus weeks with the company, and leave the higher-ups slack-jawed. That way, when I am back on the market for a position in November, they'll be begging me to come back and offer me a very prestigious position within the company. What will most likely happen outside of my imagination? I will at least not make a total ass out of myself in the next six weeks and leave them regretting bringing me on board for such a short period of time. Whatever happens in November I'll worry about as November approaches...I may not even like it there after I've been there for a short period of time!

As an aside, I was speaking with my mom yesterday and she said that after my scare on Tuesday, it's probably a good thing I've gotten a job because it's as close to "taking it easy" as I'll get. It's ironic that she thinks of it that way, but she's absolutely correct! At least if I'm working I'll be sitting at a desk or at a laminar flow hood and there will be no heavy lifting (son, laundry basket, furniture), no running after my son on his tricycle, not much bending... Who knew that getting a job would be a relief for more than financial reasons?

Keeping Track of Baby!

I found this website from postings on babycenter.com, isn't it cool? You insert your due date and then it keeps track of little details about your pregnancy...it's so fun to get the updates on where the baby is development-wise. Um, 56 days? That's SOON!



But, we can't forget about our first born son, this website also has a tracker to see how they're progressing... here's his:

Pre-term labor - AGAIN

Well, I had the distinct pleasure of spending a few hours in labor and delivery last night. Thankfully everything is ok, but I did have a little bit of a scare for a short period of time. It all started on monday night, when I was woken up by extreme pains that felt like contractions but were much higher than labor pains and were not the typical Braxton-Hicks contractions. I actually assumed that it was some stomach bug, so didn't worry too much about it. Unfortunately, the pains continued throughout the day on Tuesday, at times with these pains building up on one another in quick succession that made me double over in pain. I had my son at home with me, which made it even more difficult. But, I tried to continue about my day, we went to Costco and my son went for a bike ride up and down the street (I pushed the trike). I took a nap at the same time that my son did, but was unfortunately woken up several times from the nap by the pains.

Finally around 3pm I got a little fearful and couldn't take the pains any more, so I called the doctor. He asked me to come in to the hospital so that they could evaluate me, and I had to call my husband at work and ask him if he could come home early. Thankfully he could... He came home and took care of our son while I drove to the hospital and went into the Labor and Delivery unit. They hooked me up to the machines that measure the baby's heart rate (it was fine the whole time) and my contractions. Much to my surprise, I was having pretty substantial contractions, not of all of which I could feel. They were pretty regular in frequency but not in intensity or duration. They did some tests, including a fetal fibronectin test which would determine if I was going to go into true labor in the next couple of weeks. The tests were all negative, indicating that I should have at least two to three more weeks before delivering, and that I'll most likely go to term. So, the doctor gave me medication to stop the contractions, and they kept me there through dinner (yummy hospital food) and then released me to go home telling me to keep my feet up and drink lots of water.

Ironically, a similar but different thing happened with our first son. I didn't have these substantial pains, but I felt incredible pressure on the pelvic floor at around the same time of gestation. They had me go into Labor and Delivery and put me on i.v. fluids and a muscle relaxer, and monitored the baby. Similar to this pregnancy, they determined that I was having pretty substantial contractions that I wasn't actually feeling, but that could be responsible for the pressure that I was experiencing. As with the incident yesterday, I was sent home and told to take it easy for a day or two, and then I went about my business as usual. My first son ended up going to 39 weeks, so I'm convinced that all is well.

I mentioned this in a previous post - it's amazing how similar and yet how different this pregnancy is from the first. It's an emotional and physical roller coaster, and I'm having a wild ride!

Time Magazine Inappropriateness

There was an essay on the back page of last week's Time magazine that was, in my opinion, extremely misguided and inappropriate for the Father's Day holiday. The author is Daniel Gilbert, who is a Harvard psychologist. The premise of the essay is that fatherhood does not actually make you happy...I think that this man could use some therapy himself. Although the man is an acclaimed professor, he obviously has some unresolved issues. Ironically, the man has no children (or even pets) so I am not sure how he can write as an authority on the issue of fatherhood.

He begins his argument with the following paragrah:

Psychologists have measured how people feel as they go about their daily activities, and have found that people are less happy when they are interacting with their children than when they are eating, exercising, shopping or watching television. Indeed, an act of parenting makes most people about as happy as an act of housework. Economists have modeled the impact of many variables on people's overall happiness and have consistently found that children have only a small impact. A small negative impact.

Here is one of the flaws that commonly occurs with op-ed pieces written by scientists, especially those who are trying to use generic data to support their point of view. Without all of the information in the studies to which he is referring, we have no way of drawing conclusions for ourselves. What kind of interaction with their children? Is this when they come home and find that their child has shaved the dog and flushed mommy's jewlery down the toilet? Of COURSE I'd be unhappy interacting with my child at this point in time.

He then uses three arguments to support his point (I'm paraprhasing):

1. We pay more for things that make us happy, so since children are expensive, we assume that they MUST make us happy
2. Good memories are far more powerful and long-lasting than bad memories, so we fool ourselves into believing that we're happy by selectively remembering the good memories
3. Children are like heroin, when you're involved with children, all other things that previously made you happy fall by the wayside

Wow, this guy is OUT there. I could use these arguments in the absolute opposite way just as easily. First, people pay bucketloads to play golf, and I know MANY men and women who are absolutely MISERABLE when play, but they do it anyway. In addition, mortgages are expensive, but no one considers that they make us happy. It's just a necessary evil for home ownership. Second, I witnessed a house fire several years ago, and watched the firemen pull the lifeless bodies of five children out of the burning house. I can still see their bodies, I can still remember the smell of the fire, and the firemen who literally collapsed with grief when they completed their task. I'm not saying that this overpowers my every day thoughts, and I do have hundreds of good memories that fill my subconscious. But, my point is that unless you're very good at selective memory, you don't remember the good times at the expense of the bad. Third, yes, we less frequently participate in activities that we had previously done when we were single, but we have also increased our participation in in events we had never formerly taken part in.

Yes, our lives have changed, and we'll never get back to who we were when we were swinging singles or newly married. But frankly, I wouldn't want to go back to those times. Life and happiness is about evolving, experiencing new things, and finding joy in everything we can. As trying as our child can be, (and I have to add that he was VERY trying yesterday), I think that I can speak for both my husband and myself when I say that he is the light of our lives and that he truly DOES make us happy. Dr. Gilbert is a very bitter and misguided man who needs to experience fatherhood before he again attempts to write with authority on the subject.

Second Pregnancy-itis

No one ever tells you how different your second pregnancy is from the first. I think that part of it is that you don't know what to expect with your first, so you take everything in stride. This pregnancy has been different from the very beginning. I had incredible morning (actually evening) sickness and I crave sweets; with my first, I had very little morning sickness and craved spicy food. I was so sure that I was having a girl, but the ultrasound showed (very clearly, I might add) that we were expecting a second boy!

Anyway, last night I was home alone with my son, when I started having incredibly sharp pains that I have never felt before. I knew that they weren't contractions, but I also knew that I didn't have those pains with the first one! The difficulty was that my son was still insisting that I get him dinner and then we had to have our nighttime bath, but I was actually afraid to stand up as a result of the pain! I obviously had to, because I couldn't ignore the needs of my son. Luckily, once I put my son to bed and was able to lay down on the couch and get my feet up, the pain subsided and I started to feel a little better.

By chance, I had a routine OB appointment today and so I asked about it... Guess what she said? (I'm paraphrasing here) Oh yeah, that happens with second and subsequent pregnancies...your body never quite goes back to normal after you have one child. You're going to find that you have pains that you never had before, varicose veins show up (I don't have any yet, knock on wood), and from time to time it may feel like your baby is just going to FALL OUT (I'm not kidding - this is what she said). She then followed up by saying that I shouldn't worry because none of these things are abnormal and the baby won't just fall out. (Ok, the scientist in me knew that this was the case, but I still had this sense of...phew). She said that when I feel this way, I should just lay down, drink water, and keep my feet up until the feeling subsides. Are you kidding? She has kids, she should know better! There is no way my son will let me lounge around with my feet up whenever I feel this way! Oh well, such is the life of parents with young children.

This makes me laugh about my behavior during my first pregnancy. Based upon all of the doctors rules and suggestions, I didn't lift the laundry basket after my first trimester, I didn't have an OUNCE of caffeine, I protected my belly at all costs (even from benign threats). I definitely wasn't in the real world of parents with children. It's not that I'm not trying to do those things now, but my son weighs 30 lbs and I HAVE to lift him up, that is much more than a laundry basket would weigh! I had awful headaches at the beginning of this pregnancy, and so my doctor TOLD me to drink a cup of caffeine when that happens. My son routinely knees me or jumps on me (as toddlers are wont to do) and while I try to protect my belly, I'm beginning to learn how tough it is to damage these babies in utero.

So, the second pregnancy is really quite different than the first. I can't possibly be as careful as I was, and yet, so far, everything is going according to plan. The strange pains and other feelings are definitely new territory, but I will trust my doctor that this is just second pregnancy-itis. In the meantime, I'm counting the weeks until the baby is born. I don't want him to come early, but I am also ready to be done with this discomfort (and suffering through the heat!). To quote the Grateful Dead, "what a long, strange trip it's been..."

New Respect for Single Parents

My husband was out of town last week for a business trip. He was gone from a Friday to Wednesday night, but to me it seemed like an eternity. It's not even that my son is all that challenging, he's actually a great kid who is pretty easy-going. But, my husband's absence made me realize that when I am becoming frustrated with my son, I often look at the clock and calm myself down with the realization that he will be home in X hours to give me a break. That knowledge alone is enough to help me regroup and regain patience with my son. When my husband was gone, I didn't have that buffer and I found that I was really struggling to remain sane during the trying times. Luckily, I was able to retain my composure for the most part, and I hope that my son is none the worse for wear.

The experience really made me have respect for single parents. I suppose that if you never had a significant other to help you share the burden of child-rearing, you find other outlets for your frustrations so that you don't take them out on your children; but, if you are accustomed to having help, the lack of help really creates a void. The experience also helped me to realize how much my husband really helps out when he is around. He can sense when I'm getting to the end of my rope and swoops in to entertain our son or distract him. It's also wonderful to see how our son missed him when he was gone - every time we'd see his car in the driveway while he was away, our son would say "daddy's car", and be seemingly disappointed when we got inside and there was no daddy. Most of all, I think I really understand the concept of "it takes a village to raise a child". When my son was most challenging, it was wonderful to be able to go to a friend or neighbor's house and let him play with the other kids and just get a breather (or have a sounding board).

Bottom line is, to all single parents...I salute you. I hope that you have a great support network of friends and family to turn to in your trying times as I do!