So the Barney phenomenon began long before I ever contemplated having children. As a matter of fact, it began in 1987, while I was still in high school. At that time, I was such a idealist that I thought it was selfish to bring a child into the world because the world was not such a nice place to be and it wasn't fair to knowlingly subject a child to that degree of hate and suffering. Ok, first of all, can you say TEEN ANGST? Secondly, that was the pre-9/11 era, I don't even think I knew what kind of place the world was or could be. But I digress... I of course had heard of the Barney fad and saw the annoying purple dinosaur everywhere, and I was annoyed without even really knowing why.
I vowed when my son was born that he was not going to be a Barney fan, and I was going to accomplish this by never letting him see the program to begin with. Much to my dismay, Barney comes on after Sesame Street, and the other morning I was busy doing laundry when Sesame Street was over and wasn't there to turn off the TV. I came back into the room and found my son completely enraptured by that annoying purple beast! What is it about this creature that sucks kids in? I mean, at this age, my son kind of has ADD with Sesame Street - he'll watch a couple of things (especially Elmo's World), but mostly just plays with his toys with the TV on in the background. But with Barney, he sat stock still with his eyes glued to the set. This scares me to death.
Now that I have seen Barney, I can begin to narrow down what it is about the show that bothers me so much. First, there's Barney himself. I definitely understand children's obsessions with dinosaurs, so the purple dinosaur thing is probably smart. But, the whole show is based upon songs, children singing and playing make-believe - Barney comes alive and sings with them. Now, the creators knew that there would be singing involved, and yet, they chose an actor (or voice-over-er) who not only really does not have a good singing voice, but must suffer from an awful deviated septom. Who thought it would be a good idea to make Barney be a nasally, whiny character? Why couldn't he sound like velvet-voiced like Harry Connick, Jr. or someone similar? This could make viewing a large purple thing with obnoxious teeth be a little more bearable.
Next, they have these children on the show who are little wanna-be actors. You can tell that they have obnoxious show business parents and although they're only nine years old, have been taking acting and singing lessons since they were three and have had an agent since birth. I really don't condone this, but I accept that some people have chosen this path for their children. However, I think the show would be a lot less annoying if they took a page from Sesame Street's book and used real, every-day kids. It's much more people-friendly and less Stepford Wives-ish. I mean, you can tell that these kids are going to end up like Britney Spears dropping their kids on their heads and supporting their spouse's indulgences or like Danny Bonaduce who is airing his dirty laundry on cable television.
Finally, I think what irks me the most is that Sheryl Leach stumbled onto something that really sucks your kids in and seems to be a smashing success. Call it jealousy, call it incredulity, but for as annoying as the show is, my son loves it and I hate it. Fortunately for him, there are a lot of other great shows out there that don't annoy me and that my son can enjoy. In the meantime, I will continue to prevent him from watching Barney and Friends as much as I can and quietly seethe at the success of such a irritant!
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